Update


There's many reasons why the frequency of posts has decreased as of late. Mainly, there's nothing new to report not to mention barely anyone reads this blog so it probably doesn't matter anyway.

A couple of updates though: The Menalogue meetings have resumed in honor of our departed friend. For now they are monthly which seems to be working fine for everyone. We average about 6-8 people which is very good. I can't say that I particularly look forward to them as they are not the same without our original leader, but his spirit is ever present and his vision to bring people together lives on. Somehow the onus has fallen on me to organize things. I now find myself with a key to a classroom at the church we meet in. I send emails out to the group and try to make sure the blog and website are up to date. It's not a big deal and it's not a lot of trouble but mentally, I really don't want to be responsible for this, however, I know my friend would be pleased.

For lack of any other ideas, I sought out a therapist just to have an outlet to talk to. She's not a psychiatrist so no drugs, no pills, no meds. Just talk. I found her on my health insurance website. I chose her because her office is walking distance from my home which is crazy convenient.

I've had several appointments so far. They've been positive and informative. She thinks I should pursue a more spiritual path. She says I need to get out of my head and do for others. She's suggesting prayer, meditation, journaling, books, etc. I need to be more aware of my physical senses and appreciate them. I have to somehow deprogram this negative brain of mine. It's all daunting and mentally exhausting. Though I've resumed praying and trying to meditate, nothing positive can seem to penetrate this hardened, jaded shell. I must have patience.


5 comments:

  1. Still in my row boat on the horizon ... to steal your metaphor. I'm glad that you're moving in a direction as opposed to direction-less. Standing still is not an option for us. I say that knowing full well how much effort that requires.

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  2. Morning 4, I read your blog and it's always good to see a post from you. They don't always make easy reading but knowing you haven't given up is, for me a big positive.
    I think I'm turning a corner with the doom and gloom and I've noticed how I'm really tuned into looking inwards and not outwards. It's taking a little bit of adjustment lol.
    Weekend's nearly here and I hope you can fill it with something that makes you and those around you feel good.

    Be lucky, Spanner

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  3. Ironically, I need to learn to look outward as opposed to inwards. I'm too self-absorbed in my anguish. Every and any moment that I'm redirecting thoughts to anything else can only be beneficial. I just wish I could reap the rewards of that. Numbness is the best that it gets.

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  4. Sorry 4, that's what I meant. I've spent far too long looking inwards and now the time is right to look outwards. It's taking a bit of getting used to. Hope your weekend has gone well.

    Be lucky, Spanner

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  5. I'm a newbie to blogging, but not to the old foe. I agree...on dark days focus outwards. I suggest trying to find simple things around you that bring some positive feeling...as a Christian I carried Psalms cards in my back pocket...days when the tears came and wouldn't stop. Best wishes.

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