Update

There's many reasons why the frequency of posts has decreased as of late. Mainly, there's nothing new to report not to mention barely anyone reads this blog so it probably doesn't matter anyway.

A couple of updates though: The Menalogue meetings have resumed in honor of our departed friend. For now they are monthly which seems to be working fine for everyone. We average about 6-8 people which is very good. I can't say that I particularly look forward to them as they are not the same without our original leader, but his spirit is ever present and his vision to bring people together lives on. Somehow the onus has fallen on me to organize things. I now find myself with a key to a classroom at the church we meet in. I send emails out to the group and try to make sure the blog and website are up to date. It's not a big deal and it's not a lot of trouble but mentally, I really don't want to be responsible for this, however, I know my friend would be pleased.

For lack of any other ideas, I sought out a therapist just to have an outlet to talk to. She's not a psychiatrist so no drugs, no pills, no meds. Just talk. I found her on my health insurance website. I chose her because her office is walking distance from my home which is crazy convenient.

I've had several appointments so far. They've been positive and informative. She thinks I should pursue a more spiritual path. She says I need to get out of my head and do for others. She's suggesting prayer, meditation, journaling, books, etc. I need to be more aware of my physical senses and appreciate them. I have to somehow deprogram this negative brain of mine. It's all daunting and mentally exhausting. Though I've resumed praying and trying to meditate, nothing positive can seem to penetrate this hardened, jaded shell. I must have patience.