TNS (Final Post)

It was initially a two-month clinical trial with the option of an additional six. The first two months brought nothing but disappointment. Opting for the additional six didn't fare any better. I bailed out after five months which totals seven. There was no sense in going any further. It was clearly another failure for me while others in my group had various degrees of relief.

My last appointment with the facilitator seemed quicker this time. He saw once again that I had brought all the equipment back but it wasn't verbally noted by either of us. During the routine of questions and forms he repeated that I was allotted one more month and he hoped I would use it. After the formalities were done, he asked if I intended to continue. I replied, I think I'm done.

I was somber and lethargic. He did state a couple of positive things that had come from their study of me. All of the subjects including and especially me did not get any worse. Also, all treatments in no matter what form don't always work for everyone. If every single subject had benefitted, it might appear skewed. In other words, my treatment failure kept the trial grounded and less suspicious. Apparently the FDA is skeptical of tests and trials that are 100% positive. So, in a way I was the balance that kept it real.

We shook hands thanking each other and promising to keep in touch. I felt nothing but complete numbness as I made my way back to my vehicle and became traffic once again.