Point Of No Return


My marriage is disintegrating.

Depression has taken my soul and in the process, my wife and children have lived with an empty shell of a man that knows no joy. It's reaching new depths that I never imagined. I live with immense guilt and regret for so many wasted years that are lost forever. I've strived to be a good father and husband under the relentless weight of depression. But I'm convinced now that I've failed. It may have reached the point of no return. I believe I have lost her. My heart is broken because I've broken my wife's heart. I've done selfish things over the years that have hurt her though I've never had that intent. One can say 'I'm sorry' only so many times. She has been robbed of a happy marriage that she so deserves.

It may be time to seek more intense treatment before
I lose my wife — or my life.

3 comments:

  1. TDRAugust 31, 2011 at 9:01 PM

    Hi 4-Lorn,
    I'm sorry to hear that man. I feel for you. I think we all deserve better than we get handed, and I am sorry to hear that things are going poorly. Dealing with this black dog for years and years can grind us down, and those around us too. You have my thoughts and best wishes.

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  2. 4-LornSeptember 8, 2011 at 3:30 PM

    Thanks TDR,
    I haven't had the energy to post lately. As soon as something 'post-worthy' comes up, I'll share. Right now I have to desperately save my marriage but I'm at a loss as to how. I fear it's too late. Too much damage.

    Thank you for the support.

    ReplyDelete
  3. 4-LornOctober 24, 2011 at 11:13 AM

    Things continue to degrade. I'm in desperate need of affection but my wife isn't the most affectionate type. She can't muster the desire display affection to someone who is so miserable and makes her miserable. I can't blame her but that in turn exasperates my misery.

    So it goes. An endless cycle that feeds on itself and goes nowhere but down and everybody loses.

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