Pills, Pills, Pills

The doctors overseeing the clinical trial I'm involved in gave me the green light to change meds if I want. I shared that news with my psych doctor...reluctantly I may add. This meant there would be further tinkering and experimenting with new pills or combinations thereof which in turn means side effects. Side effects can range from a small annoyance to not being able to function at all.

Without boring the reader with drug names and dosages, she basically increased the dose of a med I'm already taking and then added yet another. The new one is supposed to increase my energy in the daytime. It acts like a stimulant but it's not a stimulant.

I am now taking FOUR drugs along with the TNS treatment. I also take a fish oil supplement because it's supposed to be good for the brain.

All simultaneously.

This is the most amount of treatments I've attempted at once yet I still slowly spiral downward.

In the past when a doctor would prescribe something new, I would ask questions and express my concern about side effects or withdrawal symptoms. I'd ask if it's ok to take with other meds or with alcohol, etc. This time I just silently took the script. If it would cause me to spontaneously explode, turn me to stone, or cause a massive seizure, I simply didn't care. If it works, great. If not, add it to the failure list.
I've become so jaded.


  1. I hear you. I know I need meds, some work for a while some never work at all. Currently I am on a concoction that seems to be working but I never let my guard down. I had a terrible episode in the fall. The worst part is that the doctors have no idea, we could probably pick our meds and dosages at random and have the same success. The only thing to do is to hang on and keep trying for the sake of our families.

  2. I truly want to live drug free for the rest of my life but I think I've reached the point where I'll never be able to get off them. Ever. I appreciate your input and wish you only the best. Keep in touch.

  3. Hi again 4-Lorn! I'm slightly confused about your TNS treatment in conjunction with the medication you are currently taking. If you are in a trial, couldn't the medication affect their results?

    I feel for you and your situation and hope you find some sort of relief soon.

  4. Once I finished the initial 8-week trial, they said it was fine to adjust meds. I was a little surprised too. The additional 6 months has been completely optional and more or less an extra bonus for lack of a better term. As always, the med change hasn't produced any positive changes. So I march on.