I haven't posted here in a long while. There's nothing much to talk about. I've hit a plateau (albeit, one that is slightly inclined downward) that seems endless.
Months and months ago I saw my psychiatrist for the last time. She was admittedly stumped and wanted to refer me to some big shot expert in a nearby city. I was willing to at least entertain a consultation. She told me she was going through someone else to contact him as he may be retired or had an assistant that would consult on tough cases or some such thing. Long story short, I never heard back from her. I sent her an email enquiring about the silence but there was no response. I suppose I should have followed up more aggressively with her but I was disgusted and exasperated with the whole process so I basically gave up.
I'm currently not seeing any doctors. They simply don't help. I'm continuing with the Lexapro because it causes the right level of numbness to get me by but it by no means lifts the depression.
I'm also dealing with new health issues that remind me I'm not getting any younger.
There's not much more to say. I simply continue on.