I just attempted getting involved in a depression clinical trial in my area using some new medication. After waiting a couple of days to hear back from them after a brief phone interview, I was told that since my depression has lasted so long and all the many medications I've tried have failed, that I don't qualify. Go figure.

The Misery Molecule

At this writing I'm continuing my pill-by-day, pill-by-night existence to get me through. Everything's the same. Nothing's changed. Not much to report.

I just read an article about scientists who've discovered something referred to as the "misery molecule" which is a protein in the brain – specifically in the pituitary gland – that possibly triggers cells to release hormones responsible for anxiety, stress and depression. Maybe they'll develop a drug to treat it but it's years away if anything comes of it.

There are many treatments on the horizon that haven't been given the green light by the FDA so it's a waiting game. Even if these new treatments do get approved, it's years of working out the kinks with people as guinea pigs before any benefits can be realized. It all seems so distant. I just patiently wait with hopes that relief will come before I'm too elderly for it to matter anymore. There is no proper word for the mental fatigue I'm experiencing.